it's still dark. the eyes wide open. 4 a.m. just a blink and i'm being sucked away from my dream.it's all quiet.
the surprise of finding myself HERE instead of THERE hits me everytime.
it takes a few good minutes til i understand where i am.
i stare at the ceiling.
my eyes roll upon the pictures on the wall.
that's where you are instead of here, in my bed.
there's no way i can possibly put this void into words.
the huge gap between my dream and my waking life.
my room is a mess and it's the mirror for what i am inside.
all these things i've dearly gathered and never been able to take care of.. just lay around, spread in a complete chaos, waiting for me to need them. one at a time.
it's how i am.
it's who i am.
..and as i lay still in my bed, waiting to fall asleep again and return to my dreamworld, as i'm looking at an invisible black dot on my black ceiling, i understand i don't belong here.
it takes all morning for me to put myself together and to move on.
one day at a time..
..until i may reach that spot in space and time i dream of every single night.


